I remember. I remember the day he was born. I remember his Oma saying, “This is my son!”, because he looked so much like his dad. (Still does.)
Suddenly, I’m in downtown Greensboro photographing his senior portraits. My chubby cheeked, happy, roly poly boy is now a handsome young man I am beyond proud of. Don’t blink. Really. Because, when you do, time seems to do a trick on you. Those moments of them being small, which seem to last forever, drain through the hourglass of time more quickly than you realize.
Judah was always my laid back child. Unlike the girls, he never felt the need to always be going somewhere or doing something. He was content to be home, to talk, play games and just be. His quick wit has always kept us in stitches. In fact, I have a log of his quotes so I’ll never forget them. Recently, we were playing a game of “Would you rather..?” with our church small group. The question came, “Would you rather have a marriage arranged by your mom or your dad?” Anton and I looked at him expectantly. Who would he choose? Who did he trust the most? Judah thought a moment and then said, “I’d rather have my dad choose for me because then I’d know he’d find someone just like her.” And he pointed at me. My son.
His sensitivity has never ceased to amaze us. I still remember a time when he was six years old. He took my Josh Groban CD, put on some headphones and just listened. After a while, he walked into the kitchen with tears in his eyes. “Mom, that is so beautiful.” My son.
He lives his life with passion. Passion for truth. Passion for God. Passion for those he loves. There is a depth to him that only those who dig find. He is loyal, compassionate, competitive, driven and a leader. My son.
He has been the best brother a girl could wish for. Though he and Victoria are 18 months apart, you’d almost think they were twins at times. They’ve always been one another’s best friend. I love listening to them talk, laugh, share. They’ve cried together, comforted one another and loved well. Mercy Anne loves him too, though she also enjoys teasing him. The typical baby sister. But, last week, he took her out shopping and to Starbucks. She soaked up every minute. We’ve always told him that his sisters were his training ground on how to treat his future wife. I know, whoever she is, she will be one lucky girl to win the heart of…my son.
So here we are. And though the draining hourglass was not so obvious years ago…it seems to be all I see now. I see the grains of sand falling….swirling…fast, faster…with no way to stop it. I treasure the moments I have, knowing all too soon those moments will be gone. Life will change. It will never be the same. It’s not a bad thing. But, it’s a different thing. And sometimes embracing the different means a painful letting go of the known. Yes, the sand falls. No, I can’t stop it.
Or can I?
For a moment.
I will try.
Our future CPA, ready to take on the business world.